MAY 25, 2004 (TUESDAY)
One day at a time.
You've always said this to me so often that it has become a mantra for the relationship.
Now, I am trying to pick up the pieces of what you've left behind. I try not to look up, for fear of seeing your retreating form shimmering in the horizon, slowly disappearing until there is nothing left but space and memory. I focus instead on the brilliant shards of my life, all sharp angles and lines and corners, littered at my feet. My back breaks, my heart breaks as I bend over and start touching the pieces one by one. I trace the shapes, irregular and unbecoming, wondering what was the picture these pieces once formed. I try not to cry, try not to remember.
I do not have the courage to look up yet. But I see the reflection of light in these glass-like shards surrounding me - so this is what dawn feels like.