JULY 11, 2004 (SUNDAY)
I know it's hard right now. And I know that whatever I say will not matter, and you will not hear it because you are now encased in that hard shell of grief and loss and tears, and it's perfectly all right because god knows I've been through that (and then some). You will need hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. And chocolate always helps.
You will have to start picking up the pieces of your life afterwards. If this lasts for more than a week, your friends have every right to slap you silly and make you take a nice long hot bath. But seriously, I know that it feels as though the world has come to an end for you. I know that you will not want to move forever, that you will wish you had turned into stone. You will wish that you could just die because honestly, death is so much better than this. I still have moments like that.
But please don't make this last forever. You will come back to us - a bit quieter perhaps, and stronger, and wiser.
Girls' Night Out
So it was already past 8 PM that Friday and I was a bit late because I got home at 7.30 and that was perhaps the fastest bath I had ever taken in the history of the world. Myrza and Ginny both said that I was looking thinner (hurrah!) and Marie was a bit late because she was stuck in a bus crash at Quezon Avenue. Mitzie was in her usual quiet, calm center of things.
So we all piled in, clown car style, into Ginny's vehicle and sped off into the darkness. Well, actually, towards Butch Perez's apartment in Malate. Krip was also there, as well as a NY poet and her boyfriend, but we didn't get to socialize much. Us Dumaguete girls merely slaved away in the kitchen, making bruschetta - and yes, I chopped up the tomatoes. Yay!
Butch's apartment was awesome! ^_^ I think that it would get snaps from the Fab 5 - and to think that he's straight. I kept on asking him if he wanted to adopt me. Even the view from the 6th floor was spectacular: you could see the glimmer of Manila Bay just outside, and Aristocrat was just around the corner, and it was just so exotically beautiful I wanted to stay there forever.
Had pasta for dinner, and chocolate mousse for dessert, and I stuffed myself full of cheese and tomatoes and chips. The usual tarot reading requests came up, and I gladly obliged. ^_^ I would have wanted to go to Dell's place afterwards, but it was already 2 AM and they had just finished watching "Bowling for Columbine" which turned their brains into mush, so never mind. We ended up driving down Sta. Mesa in the wee hours of the morning, trying to figure out how to get to EDSA. Crashed at home at about 3.30 AM, and woke up just a few minutes before 11 AM only to remember that I had a GRAIL meeting to go to at 11.30. ^_^