JULY 21, 2004 (WEDNESDAY)
A Pause before Plunging Back into the Sea
So here I am, trying to gather up enough energy for that last great spurt before I suddenly lose all energies and collapse on the floor. I still have a couple more pages to write for papers due tomorrow – curse the world why we only have one computer and three kids all cramming for schoolwork in one day – and I’m interviewing the anthropologist F. Landa Jocano after classes for an article I’m writing. I have another article afterwards – and I’m wondering how I’ll be able to do all of that and beat my end-of-the-month deadlines. And then of course, the usual readings and the GRAIL stuff and I’m hoping that Dell will be able to catch me tomorrow when I falter because honestly, I can’t skip another English 191 class. Or another French class.
I keep on forgetting that I’m a student, and that I’m running for honors. Amazing.
But then, I’d rather keep myself incredibly busy and just have a physical break-down sometime this semester rather than have a little bit of free time for myself and start thinking all these paranoid thoughts that make me act too strangely for my own good. I’m thinking of this as part of my therapy session. When I’ve finally normalized, then I can rest. But as of the moment, it’s work work work and busy busy busy. Just so I’m occupied and my brain won’t go into these complicated loops and whirls that go absolutely nowhere and just become this Gordian knot that refuses to unravel.
Meet up with Jilly today for lunch and I’ve absolutely missed the girl completely. It was so easy to slip back into conversation, and to realize that I’ve been friends with her since seventh grade – and look where we are now. Both about to graduate from college, and she seems to be doing splendidly in Ateneo as a psychology student and the current EIC of Heights, their literary publication. And it was so nice to talk shop for a while – about the difficulties of writing poetry, workshops, and the people we meet that’s connected to the literary circle etc.
She took me to the pub room, which I haven’t been in since last year, and of course I was green with envy. Heights, Matanglawin, and the Guidon all have separate offices now with air-conditioning and computers and printers and wide open cabinets and bookshelves and corkboards and ohmygoodness, they have benches where you can work and study and chill out. And while it was a cramped space, it was their space nonetheless and it was just so incredibly great to see people being productive and just hanging out and you know what, if I wasn’t such a UP loyalist, I’d have transferred to Ateneo right then and there and join Heights just so I could hang out in the pub room. ^_^
At any rate, dropped by UP for a bit to catch Meia, Abbi, Hathem and Andrew at the tambayan – Hathem had just finished his interview and offered to kill me so that he could take over GRAIL. Gladly, I told him, because at least then I could get to rest for a long time, without any thoughts plaguing my hyperactive mind. Finally flipped through the July issue of Cosmo magazine, and yes Ginny is there, glowing beautifully in her photographs. Apparently, Myrza also included our Dumaguete pictures in the Editor’s page, and there was that teeny-tiny photo of me and her riding the trisikad one evening – strangely enough, people have been noticing it, too. If nobody had told me, I probably would never have noticed. ^_^
Watched The Prince and Me at Megamall afterwards – I was torn because there were so many good movies coming out and I didn’t have the cash to see them all. Imelda was already out, and I, Robot, and of course I haven’t even seen Kill Bill Vol. 2 or King Arthur. (Kasi, may isa dyan…sabi manonood daw ng King Arthur…hwekhwekhwek…) In the end, I decided to see a fluff film that didn’t require me to think – and this was the perfect movie. ^_^ Rule of thumb when watching movies: when you’re alone, pick the brainless romantic comedy because at least you won’t feel the insane need to talk about the film afterwards. I need company for the other films because I might just implode with the desire to chatter away – either that, or look absolutely idiotic talking to myself under my breath.
Of course, Luke Mabry was absolutely adorable in his role as Prince Edward of Denmark and his accent was truly to die for, and he reads poetry for god’s sake! And of course, I’ve always been a Julia Stiles fan just ‘cos I find her so intelligent and down-to-earth for a young Hollywood actress. And yes, 10 Things I Hate About You was the movie that played over and over and over again when I was in fourth year high school and writhing in extreme pain for three days because of gastritis. I think I must’ve memorized that movie for a couple of weeks just because it was the only thing that distracted me from the bonfire being built in my stomach.
Oh, and I think we finally have a name for the band: Wholly Grail. *giggles* It’s a cute pun, and fits the band, I think. I dunno – I’ll just put it up tomorrow at the tambayan and see if everyone approves. We’re performing at Friday night’s ReSONAnce at the CAL Atrium, if anyone’s interested. Promise, the band’s incredible. And I’m just not saying that ‘cos I know the members and that I’m their “manager.”
By the way, the UNESCO tambayan isn’t a virgin anymore. Meia says that they found condom wrappers this morning there, and their ice-cream colored tarpaulin sign was gone. I don’t even want to know what they used it for – my heart goes out to them, though, because we were the ones who got our tarpaulin stolen last semestral break and this year, nobody will dare steal our tarpaulin because then I will go on berserker mode and start attacking people. ^_^