Tuesday, August 10, 2004


The Year
Janet Bowdan

When you did not come for dinner, I ate leftover for days. When you missed dessert, I finished all the strawberries. When you did not notice me, I walked four miles uphill past you and into Florence and five miles the other way. When you did not like my dress, I wore it with gray silk shoes instead of gold ones. When you did not see my car had sunk into a snowdrift at the turn of your driveway, I took the shovel off your porch and dug myself out. When you stopped writing, I wrote. When you sent back my poems, I made them into earrings and wore them to work. When you refused to appear at my reunion, I went to the dentist who showed me X-rays of my teeth. When you did not tell me you would be in town, I met you on Main Street on the way to the library. While you had dinner with me, I walked past the window and looked in. You were not there.

Some Days Just Keep On Coming

Although it's almost the 11th and we must pop the champagne and throw confetti and dance around my favorite gay man (well, okay, one of my favorite gay men...) Dell!

Yes, it's his 23rd birthday today (tomorrow).

Visited Mitzie at the SPEED office today to pick up my cheque and have a bit of a chat. I'm sort of envious of her right now - it's like we've now changed positions: she's the calm, centered, focused one and I'm the harried, doing-too-many-things-at-the-same-time person that it almost seems as though we've had a personality switch. But I really admire her for having the guts to pursue a career in writing despite the difficulties both in practicality and creatively. I mean, writing for a tech magazine is something we hardly dream of during our undergraduate years. It certainly isn't glamorous and the pay sucks, but hey.

Digression: I can't help but notice that there is always a difference between writing and writing. I mean, the passion I have for my craft doesn't really come into play when I write articles and suchlike, but at the same time, the discipline I learn from deadlines and the constant exposure to the structure of words and sentences and research is something that I won't regularly get from my craft. I think I'm getting the best of both worlds: the training that I'm getting right now extends far beyond what the undergraduate program of creative writing in UP is teaching me, and yet I know that I will be able to apply my craft in one way or the other when I go out into the world and join the grand flow of humanity.

Had my finals for French 12 today - was still sort of woozy when I came to school. Felt like sleep wasn't part of my daily routine; Meia was right, 24-hour days are not working at all. Can't we have 27-hour days instead? Or 8-day weeks? There is simply not enough time to do what we want and what we need to do, and sometimes even prioritizing doesn't help. Like for me, sometimes I keep on forgetting that I am a student and that I do have my duties as a student and yet for the longest time, I've always held friends in the highest regard and so when I consider a person a friend, and that person needs someone to talk to, I drop everything just to listen and actually take time out of my life for that person. So how do you prioritize?

Like, for instance, my priority list looks like this:

1. School - Friends
2. Writing
3. Work
5. Other extracurricular activities

See? School and friends go hand in hand. They are equal. And every situation is different.

At any rate, I still have some work to do. And tomorrow (today) seems to be another day of movement. I need a massage. And my two fingers - the ones that got broken during that motorcycle accident during freshman year - are acting up again. Yikes.

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