Tuesday, August 03, 2004

AUGUST 3, 2004 (TUESDAY)

Okay, I feel a bit better. No more of that despair and panicky shit. I can't afford to do that anymore - I have too many things to do and no time to crash in the middle of things. And besides, I hate myself when I'm whiny.

Of course, hugs are always welcome in my part of the world. (I am such a baby!)

Trip Down Memory Lane

Talking with a friend over the phone during the weekend, I was struck by the reality that I will definitely be graduating by March. That isn't such a good thing - if I wasn't such a responsibility geek, I would have wanted to stay in UP for a longer period of time. Of course, there's also the fact that I did spend my freshman year in UP Mindanao, and so my Diliman stay is shorter than most.

And I want to stay in my comfort zone. I want my world to revolve around my friends and my classes and my requirements and just be aware - as if it were at the edges of my vision - that there is a wider world out there than the one I'm familiar with, but I just want to stay at the periphery. I want to be the observer, not the participant.

I suppose this was also triggered by the fact that my senior class in high school wants to have a get-together dinner at Katipunan this Friday evening and I'm not sure I want to go. For starters, I was never really fond of the people in my class - I was happier staying out in the hallways and chatting with my friends from other classes (note: The Grey Table) rather than stay inside. Maybe that was why my desk was always the first column, second row, just beside the window that looked out the corridor. I could easily say hello to teachers and friends, and I had a makeshift ledge for my pencil case, and I could just stare out the window and drift away when I was bored.

Which happened most of the time.

At any rate, I've never really kept in touch with my high school classmates. High school friends are a different matter althogether - now those were the important ones. But aside from Kristine, who's in the Grey Table anyway, I don't really know where everyone is and I don't think I care.

I don't know. Am I that old that my class now has reunions? And do I even want to go?

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