Friday, October 01, 2004

OCTOBER 1, 2004 (FRIDAY)

To Deal With This Weekend

1. CW 199 – Thesis revisions TAPOS NA! ANAKAMPUCHA, TAPOS NA SIYA...! *dances around in glee*

2. CW 121 – Revisions of three poems
3. English 191 – Lesson plan, reflection paper
4. CW 111 – Workshop
5. Wholly GRAIL

It’s hard to talk about saying goodbye. It’s difficult not to slip into the nostalgia of telling stories, or reminiscing. I suppose if college has taught me something, it’s the value of stories, and of the craft of the storyteller. We all have a universe inside us – it’s only a matter of creating it in such a way that it’s uniquely yours but at the same time reaching out to other people and telling them that they aren’t alone. In a world that constantly alienates us, we cling on to any semblance of connection that we have.

I’m starting to learn how to say goodbye to a lot of things: innocence, first love, friendships. I’m learning how to cleanse myself of memories, to let go of things I cannot control, to surrender to inevitabilities. It’s hard, especially if you’re a sentimental shmuck like me, but maybe it really is time to move on. If high school has taught me stability, I think college has taught me transience, and the value of living in the moment, of choosing to be happy instead of allowing circumstances to dictate my emotions. I think that, despite everything, I’ve been granted a valuable gift, and I think I’ve finally learned to grow up gracefully.

A friend told me tonight, “Thanks for being a friend, Gabby. It was an honor having gone through college with you.” I wanted to tell him, no the honor is all mine. I’ve been blessed with the presence of such beautiful spirits in my life, these friends I’ve been given – I’ve been humbled and cleansed by the past four years, and I’m a better person because of it.

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