Sunday, October 03, 2004


Currently obssessing over Ashlee Simpson's album Autobiography. The gods of pop can kill me now. ^_^

Ashlee Simpson

Take it back, take it all back now
The things I gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips.
I miss that now
I can't try any harder than I do
All the reasons I gave, excuses I made for you
Are broken in two

All the things left undiscovered
Leave me empty and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
All the things left undiscovered
Leave me waiting and left to wonder
I need you
Yeah, I need you
Don't walk away

Touch me now how
I wanna feel something so real, please remind me
My love, and take me back
'Cos I'm so in love with what we were
I'm not breathing I'm suffocating without you
Do you feel it, too?

When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door
It's then I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cos I don't wanna be alone

Cos I can't fake and I cant hate
But it's my heart
That's about to break
You're all I need
I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed
Would you listen please I give in

I breathe out
I want you, there's no doubt
I freak out, I'm left out
Without you, I'm without
I'm crossed out I'm kicked out
I cry out I reach out
Don't walk away

Gig Guide

Bob's Cafe is a nice hole-in-the-wall kind of place that would probably fit right at home in the Quezon City Area. It's at the basement of Torre Lorenzo building at the corner of Taft and Vito Cruz, and once a week I go there with the band I manage, Wholly Grail. We play a lot of covers, and a occasional original song or two, but I suppose that's natural for a fledgling band. We play acoustic, mainly, but it's acoustic with an edge. Paolo Santos and MYMP we are not - I'd like to think we're a band with an edge. We can kick ass with the best of them - provided that we're properly caffeinated or have loads of chocolate in our system.

On lead guitar and vocals we have the incredible Al Rio, who paints, draws, plays music, and chugs down beer like there's no tomorrow. On acoustic guitar, vocals, and violin we have Maia, who can sing almost anything with heartbreaking vulnerability and still do the pole dance. Meia (who should not be confused for Maia) does vocals and plays the tin whistle and egg shaker on occasion, is the pretty one who can smile and melt your heart and still make you fear for your life. Our only thorn among the roses is Tim, who plays rhythm guitar. (Or perhaps it is the other way around...?) Wonder kid Mia is our bassist, who is a sweetheart on caffeine. Iban is our percussionist and occasional comic relief, but then our most recent acquisition is Roja, who plays a mean bongo riff and giggles like crazy.

It's tiring to do this, I'll admit, because it's incredibly out of my sphere of experience, but at the same time it gives me such a rush to be doing this - even though I never get to hold an instrument or go up onstage like these people and sing my heart out. And don't ask me why I'm doing this because I'm not getting any money for this, or attention, or whatever. But sitting in an FX speeding down Taft as it nears midnight with your friends singing "Copacabana" at the back somehow gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, as if you've found a place you can be quiet without being excluded. The band is coalescing, starting to become whole, and I find that at the back of my mind there's a buzz of excitement for things to come, and the hope that we will find what we're looking for in the future.

I don't want to be performing for empty seats and beer bottles forever.

Emotional Jewelry

I miss being in love, in all its accountrements.

But I don't know if I have the energy or the capacity to love again. Because I always give away too much of myself. I'm still gathering up the pieces, and learning to live with barricades again. And what pains me more is the realization that I've lost the innocence that I held on to so dearly. I don't think I'm the person I wanted to be when I grow up. Maybe in the end, I'll just fade and no one will know the difference.

Hey world, are you listening?

Nobody ever does.

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