Friday, October 08, 2004


The Universe Will Continually Surprise You


I didn't think I'd ever get to this point, but apparently I did.

Someone told me today, "I can't do what you're doing right now. If I were you, I'd be mad forever. You're on a higher emotional maturity plane than me. " And this is a person I admired greatly - a big sister of sorts. It's strangely flattering. But somehow, it feels much more...comfortable right now that it's ever been. Maybe I just got used to it. Maybe I just grew up. Maybe I'm learning that, in the end, I will have to make the decisions that I can live with. Everything I've been through for the past few months seems so far away now, and it seems fitting that at the end of the semester, everything seems to resolve itself, like a neatly tied-up package. And it's a strange feeling to actually be calm and centered - as if the world had suddenly managed to find a balance of some sort.

CZ and I had lunch with the Happy Couple 1 at World Topps, where we were surrounded by the Katipunan denizens: students of all types - although I was surprised to see a lot of MCHS students loitering around earlier during lunch. Is it the exams or something? CZ was actually nervous around all these colegialas, as he put it; told him that he wasn't nervous around me. Whatever. ^_^ Went to Ortigas and loitered around the offices of Fookien Times, Inc. and Kestrel IMC, and had dinner and tea (no coffee bar with space in sight for a Thursday night) with the Happy Couple 2, and then CZ and I went to catch the last full showing of Shark Tale, where we kept on teasing each other about the characters of Oscar and Angie. *insert evil laughter here* "I just want to take your dumb dumb dummy head and...grrr...!"

I have to go to the office tomorrow, since it looks as if I'm being hired by this small multimedia company to write instructional materials for grade school kids. It's a part-time job, but at least it's regular (hopefully) and the office is located just at Matalino Street, which is merely a tricycle ride away from home. Also have two stories due tomorrow - yey! No rest for the wicked! - and a meeting with my thesis adviser and a GRAIL meeting to go to. Not bad, not bad. Have an article due next week, last-minute calls, another paper to go and books to pick up from the shop and life is busy busy busy bee and I can't seem to imagine this rollercoaster ending. CZ told me to sleep tonight - not sure if I'll take his advice. (Hey, dude, if you're reading this - ikaw rin, magpahinga.)

I like being on the move. I like constantly going to places and experiencing new things. Even mundane events like walking from my house to Philcoa to catch the UP jeep can become events of magnitude when fleeting moments of profundity comes in. I cannot imagine staying at home for a day and just watching television. I'd feel so inadequate, so out-of-sorts, so why am I not out in the world doing my little contribution for society mood. I like being with friends and listening to them talk and ramble and play and love and hate and go through the whole gamut of human experiences that we're all going through right now, we who are the next generation of twentysomethings, we who will also ask the world to define who we are but ultimately define ourselves.

Listening to the new Sugarfree album, "Dramachine," courtesy of Hiyas the Magnificent. I think I like this song:


Ngayong gabi madilim dito
Walang ilaw, brownout sa aking mundo
Sa init naiinip, sa dilim nangangapa
Naalala tuloy kita

Kandila lang ang kasama
Kandila lang ang kasama
Kandila lang...kumusta ka na kaya?

Kung kelan pa nawalan ng ilaw
Saka pa lahat naging malinaw
Baka ako ang may kasalanan
Kung bakit tayo may tampuhang
Hindi na pwedeng pagusapan

Kandila lang ang kasama
Kandila lang ang kasama
Kandila lang...kumusta ka na kaya?

Sorry di kita hinabol
Sorry tayo'y malabo
Maya maya lang ay may ilaw na
Pero sana malaman mo

Magkailaw man madilim pa rin
Kung wala ka

EBE DANCEL, I CRASH YOU! *draws little hearts around his name*

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