Saturday, October 15, 2005

Hello, Women's Lib

I admit, I gave in. Oh the horror! Oh the pain!

I am such a kitsch. I should be shot and burned and buried six feet under the ground.

You will not guess what I bought - forked over Php 299.00 at Fully Booked just this evening.

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He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

Yes. I caved in. I gave up my own hard-earned money and bought a book that basically tells me what my friends have been telling me all along. That I deserve so much better than what I was getting all along from half-assed men who didn't even have the nerve to say to my face that they just weren't all that into me.

I mean, things like these sound very familiar:

You have good reason to want to spend a lot of energy solving the Mystery of the Disappearing Man. But all those excuses, however valid they are, will not help you in the long run. Because the only part of the story that's important to remember is that he didn't want to be with you anymore. And he didn't have the guts to tell you that. Case closed.

- from the chapter entitled, "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You"

And it's just so funny, in this age of women's lib, that what works is still the time-honored tradition of the man running after the woman. Of course, the book doesn't advocate cooling your heels and waiting for the man to come around to his senses; rather, it encourages you to live your life and just move along, and believe that the right man will come along and make all those lonely nights and pathetic attempts at singing karaoke alone worth it.

It's all about faith, it seems.

And thankfully, the writers didn't take such a didactic stance on things, or become overly preachy, which allows you to take what they're saying with a grain of salt. Actually, a large bag of salt, since the insights that they have sometimes can go against the entire I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar philosophy. But as they say, "We want you to think of yourself as the rule. Thinking of yourself as the exception is what got you into this mess in the first place. You are exceptional, but not the exception!" (Actually, there were more exclamation marks, but the proofreader in me couldn't resist omitting them.)

But perhaps the best advice they gave was this:

One simple rule, ladies: Always be classy. Never be crazy. Okay, actually, it's two simple rules, but trust me, you will never be sad you followed them. If for no other reason, it will ensure that you never have that awful memory of cutting his clothes in half or dumping his dog on the side of the road.

- from the chapter entitled, "He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up With You."

And oh boy, don't I know exactly how that feels, to resist your Inner Stalker Mode and just force your stubborn mental self to look forward instead of looking back. And it took me such a long time to realize that. But thank God I learned my lesson before it was too late.

But all in all, it was a fun read, and somehow heartwarming and encouraging at the same time. After all, it takes faith to believe that there is something better out there. And there has to be, right?

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