Monday, January 09, 2006

Home is Where the Heart Is

Home is a relatively non-existent term for me nowadays, considering the fact that I am home usually after dinner, and just as my family is about to sleep. Chalk it up to the fact that during the year and a half that I was incredibly messed up, I used to escape whatever shit was going on by going out with other people, being lost in a crowd. At least it was better than sitting at home, moping. And besides, I didn't want my siblings and my dad to see my cry. It was the last thing I wanted them to see.

So for quite some time, I only used the house as my halfway place, where I could sleep, shit, and take a bath. The particular call of the house used to be the computer, but then again, once I started working, the PC at the office was way better than the one at home (at least until recently) that it was better going out than staying in.

But nowadays, with everything slowly settling down (Elbert calls it "boring," especially now that I'm not single anymore) and with a brank-spakin'-new PC as well as a DVD player hooked up to the television, there really is no other reason for me to stay out and spend when the delights of technology awaits me at home. ^_^ I'd bet you my dad would probably not like that particular reason, but then again, it's mainly a practical one - with such a small house, one would rather do her part to decongest the place rather than spend the evening bitching and whining about not having her personal space. (Which I did, once, in a fit of irritation at not being able to do ANYTHING because even my bed was being taken over by piles of laundry.)

Now, with everything new and clean at home (or at least relatively organized). it makes me want to have a place of my own even more. (Curse you, expenses!) Maybe if I do end up in Singapore for that scholarship, there's going to be a year when I will have to live on my own, since I don't want to live with my aunt who may turn me into Cinderella over there. (Yes, she is *actually* capable of doing that.) Unfortunately, my boy won't be there, and so it's down to toughening up for a year and racking up the bills when it comes to phone calls and emails. Still, it *has* been done before, and he's very supportive about it. But then again, we all remember what happened the last time I went away for a long time - after the Dumaguete workshop, everything just kinda fell apart in the romance department for awhile.

Still, my boy is nothing short of faithful and loyal, and for once, I'm confident that he will still be there when I come back home. And I do plan to come back, because it's stupid to go somewhere else just to escape when your home country needs you more than ever.

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