Sunday, February 05, 2006

How Quickly Time Flies

I view my life in terms of weeks. My schedule is on a weekly basis, and so are my social plans, at least on a general term. I remember birthdays and special days and holidays and dazed days, sure, but usually the nitty gritty details are confined to weeks. It makes life more manageable.

It used to be that I took my life in quarters and semesters - school helped define the way I saw the movement of the hands on my watch. I thought in terms of deadlines and tests and reports and homework, which ultimately prepared me for the discipline of writing freelance for publications who demand that you produce, by hook or by crook, an article worthy of publication in so-and-so days. (Of course, now I've also learned the value of knowing what you're capable of - self-awareness - and of being able to stretch deadlines to the limit if you really need it. Much like the peso.) In fact, time didn't really play much of a role then - it was just a comfortable cycle that slowly moved along on its own guided tracks.

And then there was a period in my life when I took everything by days - hours ticking by so slowly, when existing was as difficult as breathing, or feeling. I was going through the motions then, escaping and returning, finding comfort in the least likely of things - cycles, routines, forcing myself into habits in order to fill the vacuum of a loss. Things were like that for about a year and a half, and somewhere along the line I remembered that dammit, I was better than this, and so I forced myself to stop ALL of the bad habits that got me into all sorts of trouble during that time, and to actually fit into a routine that would make me, well, a better me.

And so now I'm back to weeks. Weeks are nice, manageable little compartments of time of forever smooshed into seven straightforward days. I like weeks. Weeks are pleasant little finger exercises that prepare you for the big leagues, the head honchos, the climax of our lives. Five days of stress and work, and two days of rest and relaxation. A cycle that varies and yet stays the same. Maybe soon, I'll graduate to thinking about my life in terms of months, then years. Who knows? I might even be able to reach eternity. But right now, I'm happy with weeks.

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