Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Learning How to Say "No"

"I know you have a sense of adventure."

That was what this guy said to me - another job offer, this time as a web content developer. They wanted to ship me off to Cagayan de Oro, offering me almost twice as much as my usual salary, just to write for them. He was quite convincing too - he knew just the right buttons to hit. I thought it was a freelance job at first, something I can do in the convenience of my free time (or whatever's left of it), but it seemed like a full-time offer. This comes in the wake of another media company - yep, the one that touts itself as the #1 local TV station in the country - offering me a position as writer for their international media arm as well. (Turned that down, too.)

Still, a part of me knows that had I not been tied down to Manila, if I was still as lost as I was last year, I might just have bitten the bullet. And a part of me - the adventure-seeking, experience-hunting part of me - is railing and complaining and pushing me towards reconsidering. But now, there are more important things, like loyalty to my employers and my position, the knowledge that my foundation is here in Manila, that I will be really bored in CDO (been there. Not a particularly interesting town, at least for me. I mean, I got bored in Davao, and that was already a metropolis!), and that all my commitments are here.

Still...

It's part of the entire "learning how to say 'no'" as Yas tells me. O_o I am almost always incapable of saying "No," because I always feel that it's an opportunity cut short if I don't say "Yes." I mean, within reason, of course - I might be gullible, but I'm not that much of an idiot. But still, saying "Yes" to most things is pretty interesting, and everytime I refuse, it's like the sound of a door clicking shut. And I regret those doors more than getting into trouble if I say "Yes." I am a "Yes" person. (Which, as Ginny says, gets me into trouble everytime.)

Sigh. I love my job, and the people I work with. But a tiny, niggling part of me is still asking, "What if...?" But I can't. I just can't.

I always have to remember that curiosity kills the Gabby-cat.

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