Monday, March 13, 2006

So This Is Learning

What's interesting about things nowadays is that a lot of it has to do with choice as opposed to circumstances. I think it's part of growing up that I have to learn how to take responsibility that perhaps, a year or two ago, I would have gleefully passed off to someone else.

I suppose a lot of the learning now is focused on an internal level, as opposed to school, where you learn outside of yourself - you have your teachers who tell you what to do, a system to follow, and fellow students to copy from. But now, as an independent entity whose job entails a certain specialization, a lot of lessons are learned from experience, and not so pleasant ones at that.

I've noticed from myself that for quite some time, I was satisfied with things that are half-baked, managing to get away with a lot of things that a number of people perceived was my best - only that it wasn't really that. It's easy to breeze through college, honestly, when you compare it with handling a job that requires you to balance the fine line between being a leader and a follower. I suppose that these choices manifested themselves in different areas of my life - excelling only in courses that I wanted to excel in, leaving certain duties and responsibilities hanging in the air when I graduated, the choice to hang on to a less-than-stellar personal life just because it seemed cool at the time.

But now, it seems that I really have to get rid of such habits and focus on the situation as of the moment. I can't keep on pretending that I can get away with things just because of sheer potential. I mean, after all, in the end the only thing I can control is myself and how I adjust to situations, and I'd better start shaping up if I want to be the best that I can be during my stint here. No more complaining, or whining, or excuses. I have to learn to grow up.

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