Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Day Nine

Yes, in case you were wondering, I haven't heard from him. And I doubt that I will over the next few days.

At any rate, I'm waiting for it to arrive at the tipping point. I know that I've already overcome the weepy, angsty, really horrible phase and now I'm at that quiet part where things can go either way. I don't think I'll mind it terribly if he decides to leave; after all, with this kind of treatment, how am I supposed to be reassured that if I do end up being accepted to NUS, I'll still have a boyfriend? But a bigger part of me wants this to work, and all I'm asking for is that he makes the tiniest bit of effort in being the first one to break this silence. Because on my part, I know that I do not want to seem the desperate woman, and because it was he who wanted this in the first place, and so he is the one who should know best when to open the lines of communication again.

Otherwise, everything else seems to be going well. And I am thankful for it. If there is something I'm getting from this, it's that I have a good life that I can lead with or without him. (Of course, I'd prefer that he's around, but there's no point in pretending if things take a turn for the worst.)

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