Saturday, June 03, 2006

One Day at a Time

It feels like a dream. It's like I'm stuck in this funny little dream-state that I'm not quite sure where I'm going. I mean, after the initial outburst yesterday and the outpouring of congratulations (my poor phone conking out after a few calls from my mom, dad, brother, and a few friends) and the initial shock of just staring at the email telling me that my life is about to change for the next couple of years. And at the back of my head, there's this little voice inside my head screaming, "OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLAREYOUDOING?"

So there. Now I have to deal with several things first, primarily the question of funding. The results for the scholarship will be announced mid-June, and while my parents are supportive of this entire thing, we're not quite sure how I'm going to study if we can't afford it. >_< My mom is a bit more optimistic than my dad, though I'm not quite sure what tricks she has up her sleeve with regards to funding at least Php 200,000 worth of schooling. So of course, alternatives at this point are (a) I get the scholarship and go to Singapore, (b) I don't get the scholarship but find some impossibly magical way to get the money and go to Singapore, and (c) I don't get the scholarship and stay here. And obviously, knowing how the universe works, it could very well screw me up and turn me over like a hot piece of toast without even realizing it.

Now there's a tangled (more than a mixed) metaphor. Yay.

Another thing that I have to deal with is my complete medical examination (still waiting for the forms to come in with the official offer later - God, how long does Air Mail take?) and compiling all my original documents for proof that I'm not lying when I say that I'm the person that I say I am. There's also an application for graduate housing (Gillman Heights seem like a nice place, but I'm also looking at other private accomodations that have Internet and a phone) and checking the current modules available so I can already plot my course and figure out which subjects to take first. It feels great to actually be a student again, but I don't want to say anything yet until the scholarship results come in.

And then the little things: my cellphone (how do I apply for a roaming number, how much are calls and texts, will it still be applicable within Singapore or do I have to get a local number as well); my clothes and books and other stuff; how to apply for WiFi over there so that I can maximize Leandro's potential; possible freelance opportunities so that I won't have to rely completely on my stipend, if ever - oh, and then there's the emotional stuff: homesickness, missing family and friends, a sense of rootlessness, wandering, stuff like that...

And then yes, the voice inside my head is sounding its siren song again.

And then of course, there's work. There's really no way going around it with regards to leaving. But of course, I'd like to be sure that I'm really going to Singapore first (meaning, I wait for the results of the scholarship before doing anything definite) but if everything does push through, the latest I may have to leave is mid-July. Because I have to be there by July 26 for registration, and then I still have to deal with the red tape involved. And I don't want to leave with any deadlines or forgotten details hanging and then giving the office grief. As much as possible, I want this to be smooth and painless for everyone.

So there. That's a lot of work for one little girl. I hope I get to do this. ^_^ There's no time like the present to start doing what you want to be doing in your life. And who knows? Maybe after this, New York City will be next on the list.

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