"I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened."
- Claire Colburn, Elizabethtown (2005)
Ugh. You know that moment in Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown, when Claire and Drew revealed most of their lives over the phone, and neither wanted to put it down, and we see them going through their routine, with Drew in the hotel and Claire at home, and neither wants to put the phone down, and slowly then unravel each other's lives over the phone, to the point that Claire says, upon meeting each other halfway and watching the sun rise, is prompted to say, "I think we peaked over the phone."
I swear, CC shouldn't make any more movies. After Almost Famous, he has this eerie habit of being able to mirror life's most poignant and painful moments in a manner that is both realistic and funny - because after all, that is how we deal with the sad moments.
At any rate, I had a little Elizabethtown moment as well last night, which culminated in me sitting on the table at home and talking to a guy I've never met, who lives a couple of hundred miles away, where I knew he was seated on the hallway of a hotel, using the service telephone, and we were just talking. And for some strange reason, it was one of the most strangely private moments I've ever had my entire life.
And oh gosh, I don't know. For someone I've never met face-to-face, it's a lovely kind of slow dance in revealing each other's identity, second by delicate second, hearing the same rhythm over the miles. He will text at least once a day, find me online, make me laugh by what he observes in life, reminds me that there is something more than this daily grind that we have. He was there with me, theoretically holding my hand, when I went through my last break-up, staying with me until the sun rose (literally) and though we couldn't drive halfway across the country to meet up and watch the twilight fade into morning, there was a certain sort of kinship there, a kind of empathy that was half-invented, half-real.
And there's a part of me that's wondering, "What if?" and I know he's wondering about that as well, and right now circumstances (and there's a lot of them, both on his end, and on mine) that prevents us from ever answering that question NOW, but who knows? Maybe there is a future that involves more than random numbers and words moving across a digital space, a connection that is more than satellites and wires and lines. Maybe sometime soon, we'll be more than voices across the miles, or names across a small telephone screen, a careful unfolding of something more than what there is.
And if not for anything else, there was a moment in the friendship when we were both overreacting and getting carried away with our emotions, and I ended up telling him, "You sound like I'm trying to break up with you, and we're not even together."
And when I look back, Claire said exactly the same thing to Drew.