Monday, June 25, 2007

Because I'd Like To Face Forward Once in a While

Fete was lovely - maybe one of the better Fetes I've been to. It wasn't really because of the bands, though. I don't think I paid attention to this year's line-up just because there really wasn't anyone I wanted to see. But the company was nice, and I've met a couple of new people who were interesting enough to hold my attention, and perhaps the success of the evening was that I had three people tell me I was hot (and when does that happen, right?), and one person who shook my hand and told me, "You know what, I like you!"

Of course, he was already slightly drunk at the time, so it might not be the most lucid statement ever.

And then of course, I got home at around 3 - after a really late meal at a 24-hour Chowking with C - and had to wake up at 6.30 because C invited me to go with him and his mom down to Pakil, Laguna. Again, the rains followed us, dark storm clouds gathering in the distance. Summer is over, and even the skies seem to agree. But still, we braved the rain and plunged into the freshwater spring at the back of their house in Pakil, and swam in the icy cold water. ^_^ They have a lovely house, and maybe if it was fixed up a bit, it would be a really cozy rest house or summer retreat.

But the weekend's over and done with, and now I need to get back to a normal life - which means running after deadlines and trying to write for my bread and butter.

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By the end of this year, I'm hoping that I will have finished my master's degree, that I will have found a decent job that can afford me a relatively comfortable lifestyle (or at least continue with the lifestyle I have right now), and that I will be preparing to move out of the house. It's funny, when you think about it - so this is what adulthood is like, making decisions for yourself and sticking to it. Somehow, this is the only time that I've felt like I'm actually starting with the next phase of my life, and the fact that I'm turning 24 next year kind of reminds me that time is never going to stop for me, and that I always need to run after the things I want. Still, it's nice to continue crossing things off the list - masters, check. Moving out, almost a check. Settling down...I'm almost there. ^_^

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I need to find my way back to an equilibrium. Strings need to be snapped, and snapped quickly. At the back of my mind, there's already a voice saying that I have a month left, and then I need to leave. I need to start as early as now to let things go because the last thing I want is to expect, and expectations have a way of ballooning quickly, uncontrollably, a swollen thought cloud crowding around my head. It needs to stop. I need to go back to being a blank slate.

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