But I digress.
Anyway, so I watched the DVD of The Holiday last night with Nanay and Louie and there was something about Kate Winslet's character that seriously rang through, and I wanted to hit my head on the wall and jump out of the window - even though yes, we just live in a two-storey house and if I jump I might just seriously maim the plants - because everything she was doing and saying were things I've said/done and there was just a point where I wanted to smack myself. But then, of course, at the end of it all, this is a movie which means that she can't go waltzing off into the sunset all by her lonesome and that she had to have the character of Jack Black to round out her life. But the thing is, I don't have a Jack Black-character in my life, much less the Jude Law-character.
*pauses for a moment of drooling*
So there. I don't know why I bother with so many men; rather, BOYS. I mean, I must have dated at least half the straight male population in the city already, which is a depressing thought in itself, and the other half of the straight male population is either single by choice, or isn't really interested in someone like me, since I am the complete opposite of the "simple, kind" girl - I am dramatic and complicated, so tough shit. But yeah, there's a part of me that hates the fact that I am so into looking for a love life of any kind that everything else kind of falls into second place, which I know is wrong and should be stopped at the nearest opportunity, but also at the same time, I can't help the compulsion because there's this terrible, terrible fear of dying by my lonesome. And because I'm an incurable romantic. I should be shot.
I suppose the part about the movie that really hit home was her entire monologue somewhere in the middle of the film. I want to repost it in its entirety because I find it just brilliant.
I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
Agh, Stupid movie. *facepalm*