Anyway, I found this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay, and in my mind, I'd like someone to read this out loud during my funeral. it's a very courageous poem - not in the Dylan Thomas "do not go gentle..." kind of way, or the Tennyson "break, break break/ on the cold gray rocks, O sea!" kind of thing as well - but something more subtle, more emphatic. This is a poem about the refusal of loss - not because the persona (I think) is refusing to admit to the loss, and remains in denial, but simply fighting for the right to hope in the possibilities that could have been. That even, at the end of all things, we need to hope.
Dirge Without Music
Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,--but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, --
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.