Friday, September 07, 2007

Big Happy Things

Disclaimer: I originally wrote this a couple of days ago and posted it on LiveJournal, which I subsequently locked so that only selected friends could read (so if you're on my f-list on LJ and you read this for the first time, I apologize). It's not so much that I didn't want you to read it; it's more of...if I was actually second-guessing the entire situation, then it would have been easier to retract a statement less people knew about.

And another thing, I wanted to write a completely new entry about this, but looking back, I realized that what I wrote on LJ pretty much encompassed how I feel about this, and so I figured it's better to just repost everything. You'll see what I mean when you scroll down. ^_^

Oh, and the italicized conversation part? That really happened two nights ago.


Me: [makes funny gurgling sounds]
C: Stop making funny gurgling sounds!
Me: I can't help it! I'm happy.
C: You sure have a funny way of showing it.

You know how some things can be categorized as little happy things or big happy things? Like, little happy things include getting what you're craving for during lunch, or the rain stopping just as you get out of the office, or finding that the gorgeous pair of shoes you're lusting after is suddenly marked down to half price. Big happy things, on the other hand, doesn't necessarily rely on serendipity (although sometimes, if we are to believe romantic comedies, it is an important factor) - these are things we sincerely have a stake on: these are things that we value precisely because we know how fragile and prone to disaster these things can be. And it's a very human thing to want to hold on to something that we know can break easily - maybe because the more we know how easy it is to lose something, the more we try to keep it un-lost.

(Am I making sense?)

Anyway, so this is just my roundabout way of saying that a big happy thing has occurred and this influences everything profoundly. And that while I'm still afraid that there might be a last minute thing that can happen (Murphy, play nice) that might throw a wrench into our plans, the fact of the matter of the fact is that - well, is that -

(Haha. I still can't believe I'm actually able to write this down already.)

Well, C. is visiting me here in Singapore during my mid-semester break, which is the last week of September. ^_^

Flashback: a few weeks before I was due to leave for this semester, we were sitting in his car during one of our late night rituals of protracted goodbyes (it takes us at least 30 minutes so say goodbye to each other whenever we go out - it's very strange and I don't know why, but that's how it works) and during our ramblings, he goes, "So how would you feel if I said I'd visit you in Singapore?"

Jaw drop, insert foot. Long silence. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

More silence. "Well...yeah."

"Are you serious?"

"Well, I talked to my mom about it -- "

"Wait, wait, you talked to your mom about it already?"

"Yeah. You know how it goes. She's going to fund it anyway."

"And what did she say?"

"She said it was okay."

I look at him. "You've been planning this for quite some time, haven't you?"

At least he had the grace to look a teeny tiny bit sheepish.

But despite that, I didn't want to place a lot of expectations on that conversation. After all, I was thinking that it was July when he made those plans and between then and September, a lot of things could go wrong - and a number of things did. But despite fights and really scary moments where we both thought things were just going to end then and there, oh Lordy Miss Moly, it just feels so nice to be able to stop holding my breath and actually dance around with joy. He's getting his ticket today He's gotten his ticket already, and we have the dates and times of his arrival and departure and we're actually planning the itinerary already and I just can't believe that my adventure partner is finally coming to sterile ol' Singapore and we are sooooooo painting the town...well, not sure what color of paint is available in the store, but we'll figure it out as we go along. ^_^

And this comes at the heels of such a stressful workload and just things becoming a vicious cycle and I'm just glad that it's finally balancing out. I know that a lot can still happen in the next 19 days two weeks, but hey, we're taking it one step at a time.

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