Saturday, September 22, 2007

Extremely Weird Conversations

This is what invariably happens when you put three English Studies students in town when there's a sale at John Little during the weekend:

1. (The bus. Myself, Shailaja, and Marissa. En route from Chinatown to Orchard.)

Shailaja: There are so many quays in Singapore.
Me: There's just two.
Marissa: No, there's Robertson Quay.
Me: Right.
(pause)
Me: Back home, I had trouble explaining quays because we pronounced it as "kways" instead of "kees". So it was like, "Have you seen this quay?" and the answer would always be, "What? That key? What key?"
Marissa: That's American colonialism for you.
Shailaja: Yes, the pronounciation here is from the British.
Me: But we're all from colonial masters.
Shailaja: (smugly) That's true. But our colonial master taught us English.
Me: Well yes, but our colonial master is now a world superpower!

Edward Said would be turning in his grave. O_o

2. (At Starbucks at Paragon Mall, along Orchard)

Side note: Shailaja is vegetarian, because she's Hindu. As such, they can't eat meat or drink alcohol for religious reasons.

(Marissa puts cinnamon on her hot chocolate. Shailaja looks on in disgust.)
Me: What's wrong?
Shailaja: I don't know, I just don't like it when you add something to chocolate --
Me: Really?
Shailaja: Yes, that's why I don't like the orange flavored one, or the mint.
Marissa: Oh, so you're a purist.
Shailaja: Well, yes...
Me: Oh my God, you're a chocolate fundamentalist!
Marissa: You discriminate against chocolate!
Me: And do you know what they do to fundamentalists?
Shailaja: Oh dear God, what?
Marissa: They throw you in jail, and make you eat MEAT.
Me: And drink WINE.
Shailaja: (bursts out laughing)
Me: (points to a chocolatier behind us) Oh look, chocolate!
Marissa: (loudly) NOOOOOOOOO!
(all three of us burst out laughing)

No comments: