Saturday, September 15, 2007

A Moment's Peace

I did have plans for Saturday night, but I decided to cancel them in favor of ordering a pizza all for myself, lying down on the bed with the cardboard box on my tummy, and watching inane teen movies on Star Movies. And for a few hours at least, I felt like this was the closest to peace that I've come in the past few days. I decided to de-pressurize myself, let go of everything that was weighing down on me - school, work, personal life - and just put myself in the hands of the Pizza God.

It felt really good.

And there's a part of me that knows this will not last, this little equilibrium, this space I've carved out for myself where I get to place my consciousness inside a bubble of ignorance and control what I know and do not know. But at least for now, for the present, I made myself safe. And I am all right.


Anyway, so yesterday evening, a bunch of us trooped downtown (again) - this time, to celebrate the birthday of Nino, a fellow grad school student and Pinoy who used to teach at the Ateneo. We (meaning the usual gang of myself, Justine, Lorie and Nathan, Nino, Gene, Marissa, Angie, and Ireyah. Later on, Fred, Gene's flatmate, joined us as well) ended up along Arab Street, at a lovely little place called Blu Jaz, where there was candlelight and soft pillows on a raised platform covered in nubby carpeting, low lights, and a live jazz band.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Birthday boy Nino blowing out thirty candles on his chocolate cake. ^_^ We borrowed plates and cutlery from the nearby Thai food stall, where a Pinoy cook was doing his internship. Pretty cool, huh?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
The Blu Jaz Cafe along Arab Street, just across from the Bugis MRT and right behind Bugis Junction and the Raffles Hospital. ^_^ For more photos, check out the link here. (Go on, hover your cursor over the word.)

While I never really thought of myself as a bar person, given the fact that I don't really drink and I'm not a very good dancer, it was still such an entertaining thing to be surrounded by friends - drunk or otherwise - laughing and cracking jokes about the Americans pretending to dance in front of the DJ's station, and then stumbling out of the establishment just past midnight. While walking along Bugis, we ended up deciding - on a lark - to just hit the karaoke bar at Clementi, which was thankfully open until 3 AM. Which means we were the ones who essentially closed the place down.

I think it's beginning to be more and more of a necessity, these Friday night things. Because seriously, you feel like you're in a pressure cooker more often than not. And it doesn't get any easier because you can't walk away from this. You can't just throw your hands in and say, "I QUIT!" at the top of your lungs. And this isn't something you can just ignore until it goes away, or something you can push aside for awhile and just come back to it when you're good and ready. No. It's there, constantly, every single day. And so, every hour that you get a chance to breathe is something that you grab and hold on for dear life, because you need it to keep afloat, to maintain a semblance of sanity.

Okay, now I have to go back to work. Sigh.

No comments: