Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Everything is Gonna Be Alright

It's one of those Tuesday mornings that seems like you're in one of those European arthouse films. The morning is filled with shades of blue and touched with white, and the hum of the a/c combines with the slow and even breathing of your lover on the bed, still asleep, the blanket rumpled around him. You, the absent writer, are on the table, writing out this entry while drinking leftovers of last night's wine (although in reality, since I cannot drink, I am having chocolate milk instead) and wearing your lacy silk nightgown (again, in reality, I have never owned a silk nightgown - I'm actually wearing a pink cotton nightshirt that makes me look like a kindergartener). A small container filled with colorful gummy bears sit in one corner, the candy bears staring balefully out of their plastic prison.

You have an interview with a magazine at 10.30 this morning and you are a great deal more confident than you were the last time you had a job interview. At least you know with this one, it's easier to wing it - what you can't prove in terms of achievement, you can at least prove in terms of bluster. And magazine work is not something you are new to, and neither are you unfamiliar with design or visual aesthetics. You are crossing your fingers that an offer will be made today.

Last night, you broke down in his arms - homesickness has gotten the worst of you, especially when you saw the photos of your friends at annual parties that you know you should have been part of, but you weren't. And now the magnitude of the choice you are making crashes down on you like an overwhelming wave, and you try not to drown. You cling on to him, reminding yourself of the reasons why you are staying, of what kind of risk you are making, and praying that everything will turn out all right.

Somehow, in the secret corner of your heart of hearts, you know this is the right choice.


My part in the annual series of posters for the Grey Table Oktoberfest 2007:

More at http://ylielihan.multiply.com. ^_^

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