Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Approaching the End

Finally, all the final papers are done and I can breathe for at least the next couple of days and get cracking on bibliography work. It's such a relief to finally be able to submit the bulk of my requirements and actually be able to sleep at midnight and wake up with the sun rising already. At least I can finally get school out of the way and happily go about my other businesses - including job hunting and freelance work. Hopefully, if all goes well, I'll be home in three weeks.

I find myself rather apprehensive about going home. Obviously, I'm excited to see my family and friends, familiar places and faces, and wax lyrical about homecoming. But this is such a different homecoming from what I've imagined: the grand plan was always to go home and settle, live a life in Manila surrounded by friends and family and all things familiar. As far as last summer was concerned, that was still the plan and everything was moving slowly, inexorably towards that.

And then somehow, quicker than I could have yelled "STOP!" something happened. And while it's very easy to attribute it to the fact that I find myself in a relationship all of a sudden, and that a number of people will perhaps question my sanity, my romanticism, my tendency to hope as something that's detrimental to "my life" or "my future", I can't help but feel that I am happy with the decisions I am making and the decisions I've made, and primary among them is the decision to stay. Of course, there are still a number of hurdles to overcome - the jobhunt is foremost on my mind and while there are a couple of leads, nothing is ever certain until my signature is actually on a contract. And of course, possibilities of failure regarding acceptance on his end of the spectrum is also high on our list, but we're taking things in stride - after all, the circumstances of our meeting were nothing short of extraordinary, and if the universe really wanted us together, then everything will fall into place.

And at least in terms of our personal relationship, of how we deal with each other...well, it's nothing short of extraordinary. It's amazing how one can be so comfortable with another person in such a short span of time, and we have the added socio-cultural and religious barriers to deal with, and yet...wow. Just wow.

(This is the first time in a very long time that I've actually allowed myself to be happy. ^_^)

So I suppose I'm not going to worry about things I can't control. As he says, I can only make contingency plans up until a certain point; afterwards, everything is taken on faith. And so far, the world is being exceedingly kind to us. I just hope that this kind of good luck continues on until next year. I'm looking forward to spending a LOT more time with this man. ^_^

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