Friday, November 02, 2007

Life in Puzzle Pieces

With less than two weeks of school to go, the aim to write more than ten thousand words in the span of fourteen or so days seems more or less suicidal. Add to the fact that The Boyfriend seems to be staying over more and more (he hasn't left since Friday last week!) and the amazing cramps that signal the arrival of my period, and the poor attempt to wrap up all my freelance duties - well, it's easier to write a blog entry complaining about them all than actually doing them. Haha.

The main problem with two of the three papers that I am supposed to write is the sad fact that I do not know what, precisely, to write about. After a week of racking my brain, I still feel as lost and blank as I did when I first started out. Add to that the problem that our instructors actually failed to mention the parameters of said final paper until our last meeting, effectively bringing all brainstorming processes to take place in a panicked state. And I have been neglecting my poor ISM in favor of other things, which makes me feel very sad. After being initially buoyed by the thought that my second paper (which got me an A from a very exacting supervisor), now I'm at a complete loss when it comes to the final project. So the only one I have a clear idea of is the Cold War paper, which I'm playing around with and having loads of fun reading about musical theatre and television as a framing device and the idealistic concept of the family in American culture.

Wow, that was a mouthful.

On the job hunt front, I had a couple of interviews this week - one was with Mr. Moore, a very kind British gentleman who, while he was not able to offer me a position in his magazine at this point in time, nevertheless offered to pass my resume around to his contacts in the publishing industry here in Singapore. He was also full of praise with everything I've accomplished - in fact, when one of his colleagues called during the interview, he said, "I'll talk to you later, I'm sitting down with a very accomplished young lady right now." It was quite sad - I would have loved to work with Mr. Moore, and had he offered me a position that day, I would have snapped it up and refused to look at other offers.

On the flip side, the other interview was with a young-looking Alex, who was the director of one of the local web design agencies in Singapore. I could immediately feel the superiority complex of this guy - it pretty much emanated around the room. There was not much kindness in him, nor willingness to take a chance. Obviously, he couldn't care less about my accomplishments or background; as long as I didn't "eat, breathe, sleep, and dream design" I was unsuitable for an editorial job. Um, excuse me, I wanted to say, while I can't name drop like you and say things like Karl Lagerfield or the D&AD etc., I'm not dumb, okay? I know exactly what you're doing, and if you don't think I'm up to it, it's your loss. I tried to remember all my designer friends and thought that maybe they wouldn't be able to meet this guy's exacting expectations either - none of them dreamt design, really. Well, unless they were rushing deadlines.

The Boyfriend has been very supportive about all these things, which is great - and he'd better be, dammit, since he's the big personal reason as to why I'm staying on after my masters. But he's been a great help, offering hugs in abundance and encouraging words, and making me laugh even when I wanted to wallow in depression. ^_^ This is one of the things I love about him: his kindness, and his generous heart. (Poor heart; he's been saying that it's now doing the work for two people - it beats for him, and it beats for me. That is incredibly sweet, but the imagery is slightly macabre.)

I want to go back to creative writing as well, and there are a couple of opportunities up for grabs already that I want to meet the deadlines for - but damn, freelance goes first. After all, it pays the bills. O_o

42 days more and I'm on my way back home. ^_^

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