Thursday, December 13, 2007

A Strange Feeling

So I'm back in Manila, at least for the next two weeks. Ill probably be off to Davao around the 27th, and from there, off to Singapore by the New Year. It's a bit weird to be able to say that I'm home because now, home means a number of things for me already. Still, it's quite nice to be able to be with my siblings and my dad; my mom is coming in on the 17th, and I still have a whirlwind of things to do, including Christmas shopping and buying clothes for work and seeing friends in between.

But now there's a part of me that knows that I don't really belong here anymore. The first thing I thought when I came back was, "Oh, the house has become so small already." Sleeping in my childhood bed, on the bottom bunk with my old mattress and pillows that still smell of me, is a strange feeling. There's a mixture of nostalgia and sadness because now I know, given the decisions I've made, that I might really be able to integrate myself fully into a life that I thought was waiting for me. But at the same time, I'm glad that the world is opening up for me, and that I'm finally poised to be something more than what I initially thought I could be. It's a curious position, to finally know that maybe what I had planned for myself might not be what the universe has planned for me all along.

But still, live for the present right now - I have friends to meet and parties to attend, shopping to do and a few treats that I want to get for myself and for a certain someone that I left behind and whom I miss terribly, even now, and slowly couting down the days before I see him again. ^_^

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