Friday, July 25, 2008

Looking Ahead

You know you're a geek when you're 24 and you've already finished your Masters' degree.

You know you're an even bigger geek when you're 24, you've already finished your Masters' degree, AND you're looking around for a good school to take your Ph.D in.

So this is the school that I'm targeting to go to in two years.

In all honesty, I was looking at this school even while I was looking for an MA. But during the time, I had no concept whatsoever of financial aid or students loans, and NUS seemed very clear about offering me a full scholarship, no questions asked, that I immediately took the opportunity to study abroad. And while I'm not regretting my course of action, I'd like to think that I have to go back on track with a life plan that I've made even before this entire present situation came into being. And yeah, that included embarking on graduate studies by the time I turned 26.

And I know it's such a romantic's dream, but New York City is such a fable-like city for me. Countless stories and films are set in NYC, and I'm just dying to see what stories I can unearth in this city. My father did his Ph.D in New York as well, but he was in Buffalo. I'm keen to see the city as it is - in all its dirty, mucky glory.

So yeah, two years to plan and save up for this, to re-build a collection of poems and short stories, to start digging deep inside again for the words to build worlds. When I can to Singapore, I was exhausted and brow-beaten, and I thought I had said everything I wanted to say. Two years after that, I think I can safely say that I'm alive and well, and that maybe I can start making baby steps towards writing again. I think I wrote somewhere that writing, the activity of writing, is like an old lover you come back to again and again - there are days when you don't want to see him, but after a while, the pull comes back, an irresistible longing to sink into the words again. I'm hoping to hear the clarion call soon.

In the meantime, I can start planning.

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