Thursday, February 23, 2012

exploring my options

So it's been an interesting week so far. (Isn't it irritating when people say that?) In my case, it's been a case of trying to come to terms with being retrenched, and also looking for options.

With the first one, it helps that I've been talking to a lot of people about it. Colleagues and friends, mainly, but also my family and cousins. Unlike some people, who would rather keep everything bottled up inside, if there's something bothering my, I would rather talk it out. More often than not, I've realized, I'm surrounded with people who are logical and rational (at least to a certain extent) and give good advice when it comes to figuring things out. So that's been nice - knowing that the people around you are supportive and lovely and generally great at reminding you that you have an excellent support system and that you don't need to worry about a lot of things.

An aside: this is why I think people are as important a resource as money or food or land. Being friends with, or even knowing, the best people you can find within your social circles - that is, to say, people who can make you a better person, or who can contribute positive things to your life instead of making or increasing the negative stuff - is important. After all, sometimes that old adage is true: it's not just what you do, but who you know that can get you in touch with the right people, or with the right projects. I believe in chance and circumstance, and finding the best circumstances to surround yourself with increases your chances of finding the right things for yourself.

Not to mention, having awesome friends makes for awesome meals, awesome conversations, and awesome parties.

With the second one, there are options. I'm glad that I'm in a position where I even have options, even though they may not be exactly what I want right now. And I'm thankful I have the privilege of choice, and that I have an idea of what I want and how to get there. Of course, I always need to keep in mind that things are never set in stone, and that there will always be something coming from the left field to surprise me, but I'd like to think that I can still pursue what I want, and that I have Plan B and Plan C, etc. in place.

Right now, my best hope is getting a toe in the university system - I know that I really want to teach. I can feel that with every fiber of my being. I've been trying to avoid it for most of my twenties. I wanted to explore to world, to figure out what's beyond the boundaries of the university, but now I feel like I'm ready, that I want to go back and do what I've always wanted to do: to teach. But even then, even if I don't get in, I'd like to be able to use my skills in a place where I can be happy. I mean, it's easy to want to earn a pile of cash, to buy a house or a car or a condo, to travel around the world. But really, all I want is to find a place where I can be happy - where I can use the best of my abilities, to learn about new things, to contribute to making the world a better place (bit by bit). I need just enough to save, to be comfortable, to be able to see my friends and family.

That's not much to ask for, is it, universe?

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