Saturday, May 19, 2012

a week of silver linings

So it's been a really shitty week. Like, really, it's like the universe has decided to throw a backhanded compliment by using its backhand slap while wearing enough bling to power a small Midwestern city. And initially, I wanted to complain about it. I really, REALLY wanted to complain about it. I mean, most of what happened from Monday onwards wasn't even really ANYONE's fault - I can't even blame myself, because it was really just the way the world was swinging at that point in time - but it just became this absolutely magnificent train wreck that I was unable to stop.

But after pondering for a while (and drinking coffee at nine in the evening) I figured I really didn't want to complain anymore. For one, I don't want to hurt people, because it's not their fault that things didn't go according to plan; for another, I really don't want to be a Debbie Downer. Sure, I'm not feeling so great right now and all I really want to do is to pop a couple of paracetamols and sleep the sleep of the dead, but you gotta roll with what the universe throws your way, right?

So instead of complaining, I want to point out the good things that happened this week. Sure, it's probably not as satisfying as whining (with a side of cheese), but hey, I want to focus on the good things.

Possibly the most important good thing that happened to me this week is that I realized that I really enjoy teaching. Sure, maybe it's not the best thing in the world that the first time I've ever stood in front of a class with a poem in my hand and a lesson plan in my head is in front of the scary members of the Admissions Committee of the English department, and oh god, that experience was just not the best one in my life, but there was a point where I was looking at the students and actually saw them, and wanted to know more about them, and I mean, if UP doesn't get me, I'll be super disappointed and sad and more than a little heart-broken, but I don't think it will put me off teaching. It just means I need to look for another chance in another school, or another university, or another setting to teach.

Another good thing that happened this week is how much my friends have my back. I mean, sure, there will be days when you'll be cranky or you won't be happy that things don't go the way you plan them to, or the way you want them to, but at the end of the day, I think I'm just lucky that the people I am friends with are people who have the best intentions at heart, and that they are people who care. It is so easy to be surrounded by apathetic people or selfish people or people who lack compassion, but to have people who actively care about you and your well-being and your career (or lack thereof, at least for now) is something that's pretty awesome.

And to add to that, I also met a number of awesome people this week during the demo teaching session at the university. I really like the batch that made it through to the demo round, and I'm crossing my fingers that we all pass. They're funny and amusing and kind and in between being nervous about the whole ordeal and constantly trying to figure out if we gave the correct or incorrect answers, it was just fun to hang out with a group of like-minded people. If I do get accepted into the faculty, I'd love to have these people as my colleagues.

I think I'm also lucky that I'm very busy. I keep telling myself that I'm unemployed, but really, I have my fingers in waaaaaaay too many pies. On the one hand, it keeps me from getting superbly bored - I tried it once, and I just ended up not get anything accomplished and I felt awful at the end of the day. On the other hand, well, I end up being stressed and sick. Still, I would much rather be busy than be bored. I had enough of being stable and bored for the last 3 1/2 years. I mean, sure, having a stable job that I loved was awesome, but I think I'm much better suited for something like this.

(Also, it means I get to write a lot more.)

And speaking of being thankful, I'm also pretty pleased that I'm included in another upcoming anthology for this year: Dean Alfar and Kenneth Yu's Horror: Filipino Fiction for Young Adults, which is coming out under UP Press sometime this year. I've always loved YA, even before it became A Thing, and I'm always super-pleased when it comes up in local publishing. That makes it TWO anthologies even before the middle of the year, and hopefully I get to crank out more stuff before the year ends. (I'm looking at you, Novella In My Head That I Really Need to Start Writing Before I Go Mad.)

So yeah, the week might be super-sucky and I might be coming down with an (un)common cold and I really miss just hanging out with friends and catching up on my long-abandoned TV shows (I'm sorry Fringe and Community and Legend of Korra and Game of Thrones! I promise I will try to be un-busy sooooooooooon.) but if you look at things from another perspective, it's not so bad after all.

P.S. And and and! I got a haircut! A good one! And I got my nails done! And I didn't have to pay for them; my mom funded my salon trip. So definitely another good addition to the pile of silver-lined things that happened this week.

No comments:

Post a Comment

This is a comment box. It is for comments. Please do not leave your Giant Squid of Anger here.